Since George Floyd’s murder, social media has erupted with people calling each other out on racism.

I appreciate what’s behind the edict to “call out racism,” directed at white people currently wondering what to do. If we let racism slide when it shows up in our daily lives — if we turn our heads and say “not worth it” or “not my business” — it doesn’t just evaporate. By not confronting it, we’re essentially sweeping our trash into our neighbor’s yards, allowing the brunt of these unchallenged views and behaviors to fall upon people of color. …

In early March, I’d planned a week off of work and was excited to spend seven leisurely days making headway on some neglected projects (my taxes, culling last year’s digital photo collection, sewing repairs). Then, COVID hit, and I spent two weeks glued to the news and social media, disoriented and processing. But as things started to level out, the new normal became waking up every day and deciding what to do with myself in the absence of routine, social events, or obligations. For an introverted homebody like myself, this was an unexpected gift. I could do anything I wanted (within the limits of quarantine)! I could chat with friends and family on Zoom! I could sit in the garden with my critters and cups of tea! I could have a dance party in my room! …

Life is knocking us hard on our collective asses these days. When these shock-to-the-system events occur, certain things become very clear. Truths are revealed, in no uncertain terms. Here’s one that’s come up for me recently:

We live as though we know the future, but we don’t. And we never did.

Many people (myself included) have been dismayed by COVID-19's disruption to their plans. “What will happen to my business/family/travels/life??” we cry. “I have no idea what my future looks like now!”

In point of fact, we never know what our future looks like. We think we do, we hope we do, we pretend we do, and our speculations are sometimes fortified (or constrained) by routines and institutions, those pillars of false security. But this is life, folks. Life is unpredictable. Life is wild. Life does what the hell it wants, and often times we’re just along for the ride. …

On Thanksgiving Day, I made a deal with myself to forego dinner invitations and stay at home with a spacious day to knock out a bunch of work. I got off to an auspicious start: woke up around 6am, made tea, fed the critters, meditated. While drinking my tea, I watched a TED talk on YouTube, which rolled on to other alluring videos. I made myself breakfast, and another tea. Hunkered down in bed and watched some more stuff. It’s a holiday, after all! I noted each passing hour telling myself I’d start work soon, until it was 1pm. …